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You're traveling through another dimension
a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind
a journey into a wondrous land
whose boundaries are that of imagination.
That's the signpost up ahead.
Your next stop, the twilight zone.
All right, lance, move away from the bar.
I've had all i can take of you.
Whatever you say, father.
When you were a boy, you hated your brother...
your move, professor.
How's that?
It's your move.
Oh, yes, of course.
You are filled with hatred, lance...
that's my piece, you're black.
Rebellion of youth...
oh, yes, yes.
You're a man.
You're going to have to face up to...
very good, very good job.
Green, green cool grass.
The touch, the smell of green, cool grass.
Now, brought to you for the first time
in green, the new chlorophyll cigarette.
The smoke that doesn't smell like tobacco
but smells good- green, cool
like grass.
Yes, green is brought to you...
what's the matter with you, professor?
What's the matter with all you people?
Are you hypnotized or something?
Going out of your blessed minds?
If you don't care for our program, mr. Lindsay
you can request a different channel.
What difference does that make, what channel you got?
The new chlorophyll cigarette can make that statement.
And it's 54, termite jones...
termite jones, my hero...
termite jones.
He makes it, you...
the prettiest song in the world.
Isn't that wonderful?
Just ruining it, completely ruining a beautiful song...
? ho, ho, ho, you and me?
? little brown jug, how i love thee?
? ho, ho, ho, you and me...?
If you act now, you can get your acreage in splendor flats
for the fantastically unbelievable price
of 25 cents an acre a week.
Just look at this land, folks.
It's flat, it's gray, it's undeveloped, but...
it will be a veritable oasis...
a verit...
an oasis, yes.
Only green, the new green...
oh, yes, let's all roll in the grass
the green, cool hills of grass.
25 operators just waiting to take your call, folks.
Hey, mr. Lindsay, what's that?
That's a radio, boy.
Yeah, what's it do?
Don't you know what a radio is, boy?
Well, sure, but i've never seen one like that before.
No one ever saw one quite like that.
Because that's a very special sort of radio.
In its day, circa 1935
its type was one of the most elegant consoles on the market.
Now, with its fabric-covered speakers
its peculiar yellow dial, its serrated knobs
it looks quaint and a little strange.
Mr. Ed lindsay is going to find out how strange very soon
when he tunes in to the twilight zone.
Careful of that door. That's it.
We're going to take it up these steps here, boy.
Well, what do you got there, ed?
What's it look like?
A radio.
Now let's put it down here.
Put it down, boy.
I remember that.
I thought you'd thrown it out years ago.
I never throw anything away that's worth keeping.
Need any help, ed?
Oh, no, no, no.
I wouldn't, i wouldn't want to disturb you, professor.
Pick it up by the legs, boy.
That's it. Now, careful.
Take it right. That's it. That's it, boy.
Right up here. That's it, boy.
Got to plug it in here.
Think it still works?
Sure. Course it works.
They made things to last in those days.
That's pretty wonderful, all right.
Go buy yourself a switchblade.
And so, ladies and gentlemen
with the strains of "getting sentimental over you"
tommy dorsey and his orchestra
bid you all a very pleasant good night
direct from the princeton campus
in a broadcast of the summer swing festival
and listen to that applause.
But before we sign off, we invite you to stay tuned
for major bowes and his famous amateur hour.
This is station wpda in cedarburg, new jersey
returning you to...
good evening, friends.
Once again, the wheel of chance
or faith, as you please, is about to revolve.
And as the barker standing at the wheel of fortune
says, "around, around she goes
"and where she stops, nobody knows."
Now, does anybody know what will happen
when these young people...
well, what do you want?
I just thought you'd like to know that dinner's ready.
I ain't hungry.
You know how mrs. Nielson feels about...
oh, all right, all right, all right.
Ever since i can remember, women have been running my life.
Now do this, do that,
come to dinner, don't come to dinner...
frankly, mr. Lindsay, i don't care whether you starve to death.
I just want to make sure that it's on purpose
and not because you'd forgotten that food is available.
I'm not that old yet.
Mr. Lindsay.
What?
You're humming at table.
What was that, anyway?
What?
That melody, it went, um...
it's called "i'm getting sentimental over you."
I heard it on the radio this afternoon.
That's an old tune, isn't it?
Yeah, tommy dorsey, they-
playing it direct from the...
direct?
Tommy dorsey's dead.
You don't say.
Yeah, he died a few years ago.
What about major bowes?
Who?
Major bowes.
Never heard of him.
No, you wouldn't.
Well, he's dead, too.
I heard both major bowes and tommy dorsey this afternoon
on the radio.
Couldn't be.
Couldn't be?
How is it a man with such a tiny brain
could have such a big mouth?
Now, wait just a minute...
now, please, mr. Bragg
i think what mr. Lindsay means
or what he's trying to say
is that a local radio station was broadcasting recordings
of some of the old programs.
They didn't have tape back in those days.
No, but they did have wire, and before that, disks.
I'll tell you what else they had-
good music, hmm, professor?
Plays that meant something, magic, real magic...
i doubt it.
You doubt it.
Mr. Bragg doubts it.
Mr. Bragg, who watches television
until his brain turns into oatmeal
and his eyes roll down his face into his beer-
mr. Bragg, the modern man, doubts it.
Well, i'll show you, i'll show you.
Where's that portable radio?
Really, mr. Lindsay...
where is that portable radio? In the kitchen.
Now, that guy's nuts, that's all. He's nuts.
Oh, miss brown,
you can thank your lucky stars you never married that man.
Now, mr. Bragg, we'll show you.
We'll just prove it, right here, right in here.
Well, it was right in here.
I'm sorry, i can't wait.
Gunfireis on in exactly four minutes.
Gunfire, we can't miss that.
Ed, remember what station it was?
The station? No, i, i...
yes, yes, you know, the announcer said something
about... station wpda, that it...
what can you expect on a dinky little radio like this, hmm?
Why don't you come up to my room?
Listen to it on a real radio.
Come on.
Come on, professor.
Let's go up, vinnie.
I'd like to hear that program.
Well, it certainly is a handsome thing.
Can't seem to get it.
Maybe they're having transmitting trouble.
Why don't we phone the station?
That's a good idea.
That's an excellent idea.
Let's get hold of information and find out...
here, ed.
Thank you, professor.
Information, would you please give me the number of wpda?
That's a radio station.
Wpda, yes, yes.
Heard major bowes.
You remember major bowes, hmm?
"Round and round she goes, and...
and where she stops..."
uh, uh, yes... yes.
Oh?
Oh.
Well, what'd she say?
Oh, the operator said according to her supervisor
that wpda had been out of business for 13 years.
Well, maybe you had some other state
or even another country.
This thing has shortwave, doesn't it?
Uh, but the announcer said, uh, cedarburg, cedarburg...
maybe it's...
it isn't listed in the radio section.
I heard it.
I heard it, i know i did.
Professor, is it so impossible?
Impossible?
Well, that's a dangerous sort of a word
to use nowadays, vinnie.
We take things for granted today
that we called impossible just a few years ago.
Let's call it highly unlikely.
Then what did i hear?
I don't know, ed.
Ed...
professor...
do you really think he heard those programs?
Well, vinnie
i believe he thinks he did.
Now, we take you directly to the white house
in washington, dc, for an address by the president
of the united states, franklin delano roosevelt.
Since my annual message to the congress on january 4 last
i have not addressed the general public over the air.
In the many weeks since that time,
the congress has devoted its...
professor! Professor!
Vinnie! Vinnie! I've got it.
I've really got it. Come quick. Quick.
Why bother? You won't hear nothing but static.
Oh, professor, don't encourage that poor man.
Yeah, but...
oh, he's gone completely psychological.
Oh, my.
Well, i'm sorry, i've lost it.
It was tommy dorsey.
He was playing "i'm getting sentimental over you."
It was soft and slow, real pretty.
But i've lost it.
Why do i lose it every time somebody else comes around?
Why, professor?
Well, you just keep on trying, ed.
We're bound to hear it eventually.
Sure, sure...
we're, we're bound to...
bound to hear it.
What do you want?
Oh, nothing, ed.
I just thought we might talk.
Do you mind?
No, talk away, just don't come too close.
I might start climbing the walls
barking like a dog.
That's what you all think.
"Poor old ed, he's gone ding-dong."
No, that's not what i think.
If you'll sit down and be quiet
i'll tell you what i think.
Sure, i'll... i'll sit.
Right now, ed lindsay
you're just about the meanest, sourest
most cantankerous old man on the face of the earth.
Thanks.
And i'm not much better.
We've been living like two hermits
under the same roof for the last 20 years.
Staring at each other every morning
day in, day out
20 long years, wondering what went wrong.
I don't know what you're talking about...
oh, yes, you do.
You know exactly what i'm talking about
but you won't admit it.
We were going to be married...
oh, for heaven's sake...
don't get your back up.
I'm not trying to change anything.
I'm just talking.
We met in this boarding house in 1940.
And it was here that you proposed.
I wanted to set the date
but your mother was ill, you remember
and so you decided to wait.
And that's just what we did.
We waited and waited
until, by the time your mother died...
it was too late.
Vinnie, i'm not going to listen to...
don't interrupt me.
I've got to get this thing said.
Oh, i know you don't care anything about me now.
I'm just a silly woman who watches television
dyes her hair, grows old.
You don't even... like me anymore.
And i don't blame you.
You're a bachelor set in your ways.
You can't change what you are
and neither can i.
We had our chance and missed it, ed.
But i'll tell you one thing that's true
and i know it's true.
You did love me
as much as a man ever loved a woman.
Didn't you?
Yes, vinnie.
That's true. I did, yes.
And now you love what we were
what we might have become together.
So just about this time every year-
it would have been our anniversary-
you start getting unhappy.
You want to go back to 1940
and start all over again.
Why do you think you keep hearing
"getting sentimental over you" on the radio?
That was our song, ed.
And those programs-
we used to listen to them together...
in the dark.
I'd forgotten.
When you hear those programs
you're like a young man again
with all of your life ahead of you
but it isn't so, ed.
It's all over between us.
We missed our chance.
We can't go back.
You think it's all in my mind, don't you?
You think i'm just imagining...
ed.
...that i hear the radio.
That's not true at all.
Get out of here, vinnie.
Get out of here.
And let me alone.
Just let me alone.
Well, portland, here we are back in allen's alley.
Say, the senator's home tonight.
His hound dog is curled up there under the porch, see it?
Somebody, i say, somebody knocked.
Drag-on's the name, senator drag-on...
i know, you're from dixie.
When eat i crackers in bed, i only eat georgia crackers.
When i leave new york harbor, i take the south ferry.
Now, wait a minute...
? way down upon the swanee river.?
I'm singing swanee song!
Well, i know what you're singing.
Delivery boy.
How about a game of checkers, ed?
Oh, no, no, no.
"Let's pretend" is on in five minutes, then there's...
would you like some lemonade?
Lemonade? Nope. No, no, no.
Say, what's that funny looking thing, huh?
You know, when i first started listening to radio again
i kept wondering whatever happened to the picture tube.
The picture tube is right here.
Radio. I tell you, radio is a world
that has to be believed to be seen, hmm?
Where's my radio?
What happened to my radio?
Ed, be reasonable.
Do you know anything about it?
Ed, calm down!
Ed, i'll tell you.
Oh, you'll tell me? I might have known.
Take away the one thing that...
well, where is it?
At the junk dealer's.
The junk dealer?
You gave my radio to the junk dealer?!
Hey, wait a second.
What do you think you're doing?
This is private property.
Well, this belongs to me.
Oh, no, it don't.
We picked this up this morning.
Now, if you want to buy it...
well, how much, how much?
Oh, uh, take a look at it.
That's a beautiful piece of furniture.
How much?
Ten dollars.
It better still work, i can tell you that.
Because if it don't, it's going to cost you.
It's going to cost a lot of people
if this don't still work.
Now, direct from the aragon ballroom in chicago
tommy dorsey and his band.
Thank god.
Thank god it works.
Oh, vinnie, vinnie, come up here, quick.
Ed, what's...?
Vinnie, tommy dorsey from the aragon ballroom.
I know, dear, it's on this time every thursday.
And then there's ed wynn, and fred allen, and...
ed, what is the matter with you?
Oh, vinnie...
vinnie, vinnie, vinnie.
Dear, dear, vinnie.
Around and around she goes
and where she stops, nobody knows.
All ed lindsay knows
is that he desperately wanted a second chance
and he finally got it
through a strange and wonderful time machine called a radio
in the twilight zone.
Captioned by media access group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org
be sure and see the colgate- palmolive company's
new comedy show my sister eileen
wednesday night on many of these same stations.
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